Building lasting habits is something a lot of online personalities suggest is simple. Just repeat an action daily until it sticks, right? Unfortunately, many women realise through trial and error that doing something new (and doing so consistently) is much easier said than done. Forming a habit is a complex process tied to our behaviours, emotions, and personal circumstances. That’s why repetition isn’t enough when it comes to forming lasting habits. To empower yourself to succeed, it’s crucial to understand the challenges you face and discover strategies designed for you, not just generic advice.
The Myth of “21 Days”
Many self-help resources claim it takes 21 days to form a habit. While the idea is appealing, it oversimplifies reality. The truth is that there is no set timeline for anyone, as we all have different needs, different priorities, and different approaches. If you’ve blamed yourself for not managing to stick with something in three weeks, know that you’re far from alone.
Women juggling careers, families, and other responsibilities often need more time to see consistent progress. Habits develop not just through repetition but through consistent intention and adaptability. Instead of focusing on a rigid timeline, allow yourself the space to explore what truly works for you.
Motivation Fluctuates More Than You Think
Have you noticed how some goals feel effortless one day and unattainable the next? Motivation shares a direct tie to our emotions and environments, both of which change constantly. For working women under stress, fleeting motivation is a common roadblock.
A tough meeting or family emergency can feel like a setback, but it doesn’t have to be. Rather than relying on motivation alone, pair it with systems that guide you even when your mood dips. For example, laying out your workout clothes the night before removes the need for pressured decisions that might derail your morning plan. By preparing for motivation’s inevitable shifts, you strengthen your chances of long-term success.
Habits Require Mental Energy at First
Starting any new routine demands focus and willpower, which can be draining when your plate is full. Between demanding jobs and personal obligations, women can fall into the mindset of “doing it all” at once. This approach often backfires, leading to overwhelm and burnout.
Many of our brains naturally resist change, not because we’re lazy but because redirecting mental resources takes effort. Simplifying your approach helps alleviate this pressure. Choose one habit to work on at a time to avoid spreading yourself too thin. Small, manageable changes make it easier to transition from effortful beginnings to effortless routines. Tracking your habit helps with discipline and motivation. Using a habit tracker like the one in the Lifeflow Planner can massively help to stay committed to your habit.
Your Environment Shapes Your Actions
The spaces around us either encourage or discourage habits. Cluttered workspaces, for example, can make it harder to focus and make new additions seem overwhelming. On the other side of that same coin, an environment that has become stale or boring can drain us of creative energy and motivation.
Places like Northern Georgia are brimming with wellness escapes and retreats that give us a chance to step away and reassess our surroundings. Whether you are travelling far from home to refresh or refreshing your environment at home, change can help you reset and create a better foundation for new habits. And don’t underestimate the impact small changes can have at home, work, or even your daily commute.
Emotional Baggage Can Undermine Progress
When you’re carrying the weight of self-doubt or perfectionism, even small setbacks may feel like failures. These emotional barriers delay habit formation because they discourage persistence. For instance, missing one morning of journaling might convince you you’re incapable of consistency, even though everyone stumbles.
Self-compassion is key in moments like these. Reframe setbacks as learning opportunities instead of proof you’re falling short. It’s also important to note that some traditional habit-forming techniques just don’t work for some women, and that’s fine. The one-size-fits-all advice often overlooks emotional complexity, but by honouring your individual experience, you can build habits that truly complement your life.
The Role of Identity
Habits are not just behaviours; they’re reflections of who we believe ourselves to be. If you’ve spent years convinced you’re “not a morning person” or “too busy” for self-care, adopting new habits feels like fighting against yourself. Instead of focusing solely on outcomes, shift your mindset toward identity. For instance, don’t ask, “How do I exercise more?” but instead “What would someone who values their health do?”
Framing habits this way connects actions to your sense of self, making them more meaningful and sustainable. When your identity aligns with your goals, sticking with new habits feels authentic rather than forced.
Redefining Success
Success doesn’t always look like perfection or instant results, despite what social media often suggests. Working women, in particular, may need to carve out unique definitions of success that reflect both achievements and the realities of juggling responsibilities. For instance, if waking up for a morning workout proves impossible, find joy in a short evening walk instead.
Celebrate small wins, like preparing healthier lunches or spending five minutes meditating. These accomplishments, though modest, signal progress and build confidence. Redefining success means focusing on consistency over perfection, which ultimately leads to habits that last.
Accountability Helps, But Choose Wisely
Having someone to cheer you on can make a world of difference. Whether it’s a friend, a coach, or online group, accountability provides structure, encouragement, and perspective. That said, the wrong kind of accountability can introduce pressure or judgment. For instance, comparing yourself to a friend with seemingly boundless energy can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Seek out people or communities that celebrate your efforts without imposing unrealistic expectations. When others believe in your success, it becomes easier to believe in yourself.
Finding What Works For You
Building lasting habits is hard, but it’s not impossible. If you’ve struggled to stick with routines, remember this isn’t a flaw in your character. Repetition just isn’t enough when it comes to forming lasting habits, no matter what some might say. Instead of relying on repetition alone, consider your motivation, environment, emotions, and identity. Experiment with small, meaningful changes that fit into your life. Habits thrive when they’re personal and flexible, so give yourself permission to explore your unique path and pick up a copy of Rise Before Your Bull to help you create a strategy that works for you and your life.
